Dusting Off The Notebook

Hello people of the internet,

This blog is a bit darker than my recent entries due to the nostalgic feeling I have today. I usually don't tell people this, but today I just need to vent and let these trapped emotions out. For three years I have done nothing but pretend I was okay. You know the feeling when something is ripped from your grip and feel like you can’t go on without it? For example, take Romeo and Juliet, when Juliet pretends to be dead Romeo kills himself. When Juliet finally wakes up Romeo is dead and so she kills herself. The two young lovers couldn’t live without each other, so they each committed suicide. I can relate because I was in the same position as Juliet. I lost two of the greatest people I knew. How are you supposed to feel when two of your greatest friends die in two years?

"Livvy, your head is always in the clouds!" (JTJ)

I was in seventh grade and my world was perfect; there were birds singing and the skies were as blue as can be. I was so happy with my life I didn’t see what was happening under my nose. I was twelve and was I really supposed to understand what the extra weekends together, the constant gifts, and the new songs were supposed to mean? He showered me with everything that made me feel like I was important; that someone actually wanted to be with me. I thought that nothing could shatter the bridge between our hearts. One day my world came to an abrupt stop in its rotation. We went to a coffee place called Maude’s and there he told me that he was moving. He was moving to West Virginia! It wasn’t that fact that he was moving away, but rather the fact he was moving before one of the biggest dance competitions of the year! We had worked so hard on the dance and he was just leaving. He didn’t even put up a fight against his parents to postpone the moving date. In a selfish way I felt left out and betrayed, but in another sense, I felt like my heart was about to jump out of my chest. The one guy I loved and wanted to be with was leaving to a place where I probably would never see him again! My world was shattered into a million pieces and no one could fix it. A week later I was still upset, but I couldn’t have imagined it would have gotten any worse than it did when I got that crushing phone call. The parents of my beloved JTJ were sobbing over the phone. Finally after a few moments Mrs. Johnson uttered the words, “He’s dead! He was in the car with his brother and on their way down to see you”! My mind went blank and I felt a sudden lurch in my chest. A piece of me died that day, November 16, 2006. I will never forget it. There’s not much more to say after that day other than my birthday was lonely.

“Cry all you want, you can’t change the past, focus on the future!” (NTE)

Two years went but when JTJ had died and I had cried all the tears I needed to. I had found a new guy in my life and I loved being with him. He made me laughed and we had a great time just hanging out when we could. The only problem was that he was a full-out alcoholic and druggie! Through all that staining flaws he still made me feel very comfortable with him. He never forced me to do anything I didn’t want to, so it made me feel like he had respect for me and my decisions. He was just like JTJ, but a bit more wild and dare-devilish. He was the most laid back guy I ever knew; he never cared for school, yet he was one of the smartest people I knew, he was a great guitar player and never cared that he messed up. He filled the hole that was left in my heart. One day he seemed a little tense and preoccupied. I asked him and asked him for days, but he wouldn’t admit what was going on with him. Finally he showed up my house one night when my parents were out and he was sobbing. I sat him down and he admitted everything! I could barely get out what he was saying, but finally I understood. His little sister had a brain tumor that could be fatal for her, since she was young. I didn’t know what to say or do. All I knew was to comfort him the best way that I could. Weeks later they moved here to a hospital in Alabama. He called me on November 17, 2009 and asked me to come up and see him. “How the heck to you expect me to drive up there in the middle of everything?" We had a fight that went completely out of hand! Next thing I knew I got another one of those phone calls that ran over my heart yet again! His older sister said that he was extremely angry and went to go party with some unauthorized substances. Next thing she knew they found him an hour off the border of Alabama and Florida. I was devastated.

So how are you supposed to feel when two of your greatest friends die in two years?


"Life is too short to worry about the trivial things...go out and drink!" (JTJ & NTE)


RIP...peace out...

Remembering the Good Ol' Days

Hey Internet World,


I can sense a district win in the near future for the girl’s varsity basketball team! The first few weeks have been going very well; all the girls have been practicing hard. I am most surprised with how much everyone has improved, including me! It seems just like yesterday that I was just beginning to play in seventh grade!

*flashback music*

It was seventh grade and, weirdly enough, I chose to play basketball. I was probably under the influence or something because I was the most girly person you had ever met! I was a dancer back then and thought all sports were a waste of time and that more people should dance. Yet, basketball called me to be a daring misfit and give the whole “sports” thing a go. So I went out the first day and I thought “Oh dear, what the flapjacks am I doing out here with a bunch of jocks”? The first week went flying by and I couldn’t help but smile every time someone was talking about basketball. During that first week, I had fallen in love with the game called basketball. My seventh grade year went well, but we sadly lost all the games. Though, I knew my eighth grade year would be great!
Eighth grade year came and the summer before I worked on the necessary skills and the knowledge of the game. The season rolled by and I was on the JV team. I was simply ecstatic to be on the next level. I did whatever I could do to be the best I could possibly be, but one little trait held me back from reaching my full potential sometimes. The one thing that held me down was…I over analyzed everything! When I was about to shoot, I would begin to do geometry in my head. When I was playing one-on-one, I had to view my options before doing anything. Basically, my mind was a walking computer that calculated every possible option or equation to get the best results. That season I earned my name “Degrees”, due to the fact I thought too much in both games and practices. I was a good player and had great potential; I just couldn’t get over being the perfect player. I needed to stop doing geometry in my head every time the ball brushed my fingers. It was terrible; I began to dream of triangles and angle measurements. AH!

As time wore on, I was on the varsity basketball team and it was a nightmare learning how to put “Degrees” in a box for school and bring “Chopstix” out of storage. I just needed to realize I can be a really good player, if I don’t do geometry in my head. When I first started basketball, I never realized that I didn’t need to worry about perfection; I needed to worry about on simple goal...how I was going to improve as a player. So there you have it, a short version of my past in basketball.

I will now end with a random quote!

Me: “I’m an Asian so if I don’t shave for two weeks, you can’t tell the difference!”
Angie: “I’m Italian. So if I don’t shave for two weeks, people would come after me with torches and pitchforks thinking I am some type of Sasquatch!”

Peace chiquita bananas!!!!


Asian on a Pogostick is hopping out of here!

Asian on an Unknown Mission

Hello Fellow Bloggers,

Many people wonder why I end up with random bruises and why I have a full bottle of ibuprofen, well, I am here to just let everyone know that I am the cause of my own headaches and other aches!!! For the past week or so my head has felt like exploding into a million pieces!!! Not only can I inflict headaches unto myself; I am also incapable of opening doors, thus causing pain and injury to me. You may be wondering if my brain is in the right place or if all my "circuits" are connected properly, but I can assure you everything is fine with me; I just have an unnatural ability to inflict pain on myself and others. Now wait a minute, before you close this blog thinking I am a total psycho, please understand that I am an Asian with a mission and purpose for everything!!! So, the pain and injury is all apart of some grand scheme of things, once I figure it out in the next few days or weeks or months. The inflicted pain is all apart of the randomness that surrounds me. Believe me when I say this, I am random at all times and you don't know when I will just pop, for example:



I will end in a random quote from a movie:


"Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
Ron: Why spiders? Why couldn't it be "follow the butterflies"?


Well that's all for now, Peace!!!

Asian on a Pogo Stick

P.S. You may be wondering why I am writng about this, but there is a simple and logical explanation...ummmm???? Oh right, today I ran into the art gallery door, along with running into an inanimate object. My question is: why on earth do I do this to myself??? This is one of the many questions that haunt me in my dreams.

Again Peace!!!

Asian on a Pogo Stick (times 2)